I am a rule follower.
I am so glad that God doesn’t live by the rules I am convinced we need to live by. Rules are good. They have purpose. God gave 10 great ones to live by. They help us love Him and love others well. However, I have embraced many rules, which exist in society, to be firm when, in fact, God doesn’t live by them. They are guidelines to provide some structure for us, but only God can decide when they are firm and when, for our benefit, they are flexible.
Being a rule follower, I struggle trusting God when He is pushing me to see past the rules and look to Him for what He desires to do. One of my favorite instances happened about two and half years ago. I say “favorite” in retrospect as I trusted Him, walked it out and the blessings were amazing. “Favorite” does not necessarily apply to the process, but the experience as a whole.
While reading an article on Facebook, I saw a banner advertising a conference out east. Exploring the details, I felt pressed to attend. The event was three months away. I presented the opportunity to my husband as a dual purpose adventure: for me to attend the two day conference and a few more days there together to celebrate our anniversary. Neither of us had acquired the state in which the conference was being held. (For more info on collecting states, read my earlier post Silly Goals & Dreams) He thought it was a great idea. I began praying about registering and choosing the multiple breakout sessions. The conference itself was going to be a step of faith, believing what God had been whispering to me for some time and taking action to live out what He said. This step felt like a leap into the deep end of the pool with no real experience swimming!
I received a phone call from my husband the next day. He had scheduled flights, reserved both a hotel room and rental car, and was ready to support this prompting of the Spirit. I was still praying about this leap and trying to discern the sessions for which to register. This felt freshly sprung upon me, and it seemed reasonable to spend just a few days seeking direction through prayer. Having prayed and read every inch of the site, I still didn’t know how to decide. After six days, I just needed to walk through registration and make the best possible choice for each session, as I completed the process. Filling out the first page of personal information and clicking next—the following page popped up—SOLD OUT! What? Why was this not posted anywhere else on the site? I could elect to be on the waiting list. Confused, I decided I should complete the wait list form. Upon hitting enter, the site closed. Strange…I made a second attempt and this time, I received confirmation of being placed on the list. I didn’t understand. I had been so sure this was my next step, but what was I to do, it was sold out!
Just as confused as the day before, my friend suggested I try trusting Him to get me off the waiting list and into the conference. He is bigger than the list. I could do that! Checking my email, I had multiple waitlist confirmations—oops! I replied and informed them I may be on the list twice if they desired to correct it. Nothing I could do now but trust God. I know He likes me to more dependent on Him than independent, so the next move was His. I spent the day moving a daughter home from college for the summer. Tired and physically spent, I cleared off the emails which had collected over the past dozen hours. Amongst them, I found a reply to my correction request. Just seeing a response stirred my heart with hope. Upon opening, I discovered a thank you for the correction and just for my information; I was about 400th on the list. The stirring went still and my dismay increased. How did I misread what I was sure was a strong press to attend? Now I had to break the news to my husband that I wasn’t going to conference, despite his quick work to support the possibility.
The next morning, I shared the let down, but said I would still be interested in collecting the state if he would like to spend our anniversary there. He was agreeable and we left it as planned. Over the next few weeks, I tried to sort it all out through prayer. The more I prayed, I still felt prompted to go to the conference. The more I prayed, the more it was confirmed in me to “show up” and see if there were any last minute cancelations. I presented the idea to my husband; he just smiled and affirmed we should go. These things are easier for him, as he lives by the belief that rules are just guidelines.
The wrestling began! As a rule follower, when something is full, you make other plans. Having hosted multiple events, I just could not imagine being someone who flying across country just to see if there might be an open spot at check-in. I knew God was asking me to trust Him. All He needed was my cooperation. I only needed to take a step of faith, show up and ask. The rest was up to Him. I had no clue if He would make a spot available. He was under no obligation to do anything, but I was at a pivotal point—I could act on what He was asking, confirming I was willing to heed His nudging, or I could NOT go and always wonder what He had planned. I want to live the adventure He has for me. I know the more I am willing to acknowledge the promptings of the Spirit, the more He can trust me to follow Him closely. So, despite the angst I felt about showing up unregistered, I chose to trust Him and went.
I prepared to arrive between registration packet pick-up and the start of the first general session. I had begged God to please give the person I initially encounter a sweet and gentle spirit. (Not reactionary like I might be!) I patiently waited in the information line to inquire. As I became the only person waiting, a lady called out to me. She smiled and said she wasn’t sure if she could help but would give it a whirl. Release of the stress came as I realized He answered. I asked, and watched. Over the next several minutes she spoke to a couple ladies and they entered a side room. Several more joined them. In the waiting, relief overwhelmed me as I realized I did all that I could do. He knew I was willing to give whatever He had in mind a shot. Then, she returned. They said YES! Registering me on the spot, I was blown away.
This rule follower hadn’t broken any rules. Instead, she asked and she received. 24 hours of instruction, guidance, learning and encouragement to live out the calling God had whispered in my ear so many years ago. 36 hours later it was over. I still could not believe a gathering of 800 women with 700 on the waiting list made room for me. He is amazing! He deserves all the praise! I am so blessed. I now better understand that rules are guidelines and only He knows which are firm and which are flexible. Don’t get stuck or think there is no option, just because you can’t see how it could possibly happen—ASK Him what He wants you to do and then WATCH what He does when you listen!
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