Disappointed

Disappointed—sometimes it happens when I don’t manage my own expectations.  Other times, I experience it because something doesn’t live up to its potential, not directly affecting me, but it could have been so much more.  This word best sums up my last several weeks. The world is full of things that fall short, outright fail, and aren’t what they should be or even could be.  From food to weekends to people, I have been let down, as I am sure you, too, have been.

 

Such a simple desire, I hunger for a brownie.  This doesn’t happen often, as I am not a huge chocolate kind of girl, but when it does, I need it to be good and satisfying.  Nothing is worse than finally giving in to the unnecessary sugar and the taste falls flat.  Too dry, not gooey enough, bland flavor…you name it, because you, too, have had this happen.  This could have been so simple and I could have been content and moved on, but it fell short.  I am disappointed.

 

The weather is changing and I need a new pair of jeans.  As a staple to my wardrobe, I don’t want to take chances about the comfort, fit or style of my new purchase, so I order them online—just what I want.  After patiently waiting, they arrive and I am so ready to sport this fresh, new pair of pants.  I open the package; the coloring is just right.  As I unfold them, to my surprise, they have significant distressing and rips that were not present in the photo online.  Not really the look of a staple pair of jeans in my closet…I am disappointed.

 

Reservations made, bags packed, and off to the mountains to celebrate my husband’s birthday weekend.  With his crazy, busy work schedule in the fall, I am looking forward to some one-on-one time to reconnect.  We can catch up with one another, catch up on sleep and enjoy some of God’s magnificent creation.  After arriving a bit later than planned, we enjoy the hot tub and retire for the night as some good sleep will go a long way in our enjoying the weekend.  Extra early Saturday morning, I am awakened by the sharp, piercing of an arrow penetrating straight through my eye socket and exiting the back of my head.  Fumbling around to find medicine, with hopes it will be better in a few hours, I down some water and bury my head under the covers.  This cycle of meds and sleep continues for 16 hours and the next day feels much like a hangover from some poor choice of drink.  I have been robbed of the better part of the two days I had with my husband.  I am disappointed.

 

Engagement with social media this past month has topped it all when it comes to disappointment.  People, who are my friends and whom I love, have posted words and stories that shock me.  The rudeness, the criticalness, the lack of compassion has all overwhelmed me.  This is followed by others who have decided to make public confessions of personal choices contradicting all they have stood for prior to this moment in time.  The impact ripples across the horizon as far as one can see.  These choices shatter lives, hurt loved ones and may even cause others to stumble.  My heart aches for all those touched by the decisions made.  I am disappointed.

 

Walking this road of disappointment causes me to reflect and ask hard questions about myself and others.  Did I manage my expectations where this was concerned?  Did they think this through?  Could I have done this any differently?  Will others be impacted negatively by their decision?  How can I stop all this disappointment from getting me down?  We live in a world that will continually disappoint.  Things are not as they should be.  We don’t live out our best us.  Choices are made and there is not much we can do about it.

 

However, there is One who never disappoints me.  His love never fails.  His Word is always true.  He fulfills every promise.  He never gives up on me or you.  He is faithful, never leaving or forsaking us.  When I start to feel disappointment taking its toll on me, I know where to turn and remind myself of the One who is faithful and true.  Setting my eyes on the Maker of Heaven and Earth and the One from whom my help comes, anchors my heart, steadies my steps and refocuses me.  Disappointment is inevitable, but we can turn it around by looking to Him.