The sun is shining brightly and the dew is glistening off the freshly mown grass. The air has the crispness of apples in the fall. Football has started. As you look out across the field, the sideline is filled with boys ready to play. You anticipate eleven youngsters taking their positions for kick-off. You are ready to soak up every minute of play as you watch them strive with all their talent, skill and desire to succeed.
We believe that if you plan, prepare and execute well, then you have a high probability of success. You would never expect the coach to take one player out to the 20 yard line and clear every other player off the field, blow the whistle and watch as he runs 80 yards for a touchdown. What? Does the crowd go wild? He succeeded, right? Was that the point of the game? Win without a challenge?
We would never expect our child to go into a classroom to take a test in Algebra with having only mastered his addition facts. This would be setting him up for failure. Why would we ever do this? We would not. However, you would not have him take a quiz on addition facts with fact and answer cards posted all around the room. How would this ever measure his true ability and mastery of the skill? It would not.
I believe this sounds as ridiculous to you as it does to me. How do we set our child or ourselves up for success and yet, not clear the field to make it happen? What expectations do we have for our lives with regards to encountering ease or difficulty? Is there real success without a challenge? What expectations do we have with parenting our children to prepare them for the challenges they will face? I believe it is worth a look at our perceptions and how we adjust and equip for the encounters ahead.
Having balance between equipping our children with the skills and abilities to succeed and setting them before a challenge that allows them to battle and maneuver with a likelihood of success is a necessity. Just as I would never expect them to ace an exam over material they have never seen, I cannot expect them to achieve in life without proper mastery of skills and tools to help them do so. The same goes for us. We know with each new situation or activity there will be a learning curve. Time is needed to understand and grasp basic concepts to become proficient at what is before us.
When one of my children would be scouting out a new class or activity, I would also research their interest. Sometimes that was easier if I was familiar with the selection. If not, I had to gather information to make a decision with regards to the activity being age appropriate…neither too advanced to cause frustration, nor too easy to induce boredom. Then decide if it would create opportunities for growth and development of either a current area of interest or a new one. This continued with each new venture, even into high school and in selecting a college or career. Whether for fun or for educational advancement, I wished to see them take on new challenges that would help them develop, not only in experience, but also in the confidence of scaling a challenge within their ability to conquer.
This process occurs even as I face new tasks and adventures in my own life. I have heard it said that the day we become unwilling to learn and embrace change is the day we start to die. Insights garnered through past experiences and skills often shed light on the new ones needed for success. Both for ourselves and for our children, steps of faith are required…making choices that stretch you beyond your current comfort and ability, encouraging you to rely on God to see success. Each time this requires you to trust more, to see greater, more mind-blowing growth.
The book of James tells us that we will face trials of many kinds. It also says these will help mature us and complete us so we are not lacking anything. When I face some challenges, I do not always feel prepared. Elsewhere it tells me that I am equipped and prepared for what is before me. I must choose wisely, trusting in God’s word and in faith believe as I take the steps to rise to the challenge. We need guidance for ourselves and to help our children through this life. His word is the best place I know to find it.
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